You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
