trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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