hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
