Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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