I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize