do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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