i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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