My liver just broke up with me...
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
