This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
