Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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