He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize