Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He told me they were just razor bumps!
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
