It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
