I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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