So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
