nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
