I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
