Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Randomize
