Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
