Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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