I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
