Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
