from now on my penis is your penis
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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