oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
