I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
