508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
