There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
