she woke up with a sticky ear
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
