Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
How external is "for external use only"?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize