I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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