so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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