Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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