Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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