Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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