I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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