so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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