There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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