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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.

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• (916): View more from California

  You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.

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• (209): View more from California

  She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever

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• (315): View more from New York

  Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?

  (716): View more from New York

  It was tough but I powered through it.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!

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