Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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