about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
