i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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