Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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