That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
