First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
