You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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