ya dads aren't the best wingmen
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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