at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize