I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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