and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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