dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
