hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
