You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize