It's Friday. Sex?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I pour the whiskey from now on
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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