It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
