This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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