someone threw a dead crab at me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
