just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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