alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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