She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
